main hun yaa nahi

hain sawal ya nahi

kya yehi hain sahi

main wahi jo nahi

tum the ya nahi

thi baat ya nahi

bas jung ek hi

ki jung ho ya nahi

main ladu ya nahi

kya dekhna sahi

hain sawal ya nahi

kya karu kya nahi

hoga kabhi ya nahi

khwaab haqiqat-e-zindagi

ho gayi phir baat wahi

abb kya kahe kya nahi

main hun ya nahi

kya sahi kya nahi

bas sawal ek hi

ho sawal ya nahi

ek baar maine ek bacche se poocha

humayun-akbar main baap kaun hain

aur kaun hain beta...

usne pahele mujhe dekha, sarr khujaya aur ek min soch ke bola

akbar hain baap

aur humayun beta...

maine kaha , wah mere sher

tune toh itihaas hi badal diya

bete ko baap aur baap ko beta kar diya...

woh aankh michalte huye bola

main toh bas akbar janta hun

humatun toh paheli baar suna hain

uss bacche ke massom jawab ne lajawab kar diya hain

kaun kiska baap hain

jisne janam diya ya jisne pehchan......

how to capture darkness on canvas?

How to express silence in words?

Are these questions question?

Or answers…

Where does the question ends and answer begins?

Fusion in confusion is not always tension

Yet there remains question

Are there lines?

If not why can’t I capture darkness?

Or express silence in words?

Sometimes we are left with answers

Which look like questions…..

Change

I was drawing a sketch

And it grew dark till the time I completed it

It isn’t what I wanted to draw

It isn’t what it is

Sometimes I ask myself

What it is?

I searched long for a name

I finally got one, it’s ‘change’

'dhool ka kaan' udd jata hain hawa ke jhoonke ke sath

dhoondhne ke liye apni ek jagah

jaha woh akela ho, sabse alag ho

jaha ho uska apna astitva

akela hokar hi woh yeh samajh pata hai

dhool se dur hokar

dhool se alag hokar bhi

hai toh akhir woh bhi dhool hi

aur phir udd jata hain ek aur hawa ke jhoonke ke sath

ussi dhool main mill jaane ke liye

jaha se woh aaya tha, yeh jaankar

dhool se alag dhool ka koi astitva nahi hota....

uska srujan tabhi sambhav hain

jab iss dhool se fasal bane, khilona bane

jab iss dhool se ek ghar baane, moorti baane

aur yeh sampoorna sansar uska srujan- mancha baane

'iss dhool se dhool tak ke safar main hum dhool huye jaa rahe hain, aur phir bhi unhe yehi shikayat hai ki mere kamare main itni dhool kyu hain'

The words 'invention' and 'discovery' are so close yet so far. One says i made it i am the master. Other says it was always there, it was my pleasure to know it. I know not who did it but i didn't. It is the pleasure in being what we are rather that trying to be what we are not. And in the process being something which we do not want to be. It is the basic difference between the want and a need. It is the ego which differentiates the two. And indeed one of the reason behind pain in this world. Sometimes it takes one's life time to understand it, sometimes a moment. This journey from invention to discovery is long yet so short, meaningless yet so meaningful.

Its not my actions but the purpose behind the actions that makes me unique.

kabhi socha naa tha
tumse milkar main main na rahunga
milkar mujhse tum tum na rahogi
aur main tum milkar hum ho jayenge
socha na tha ki
yun do patte tairte huye paani paar ek ho jayenge
socha na tha ki
yeh pathar paani main yun ghul jayenge
socha na tha ki
tum yun milloge achanak
socha na tha ki
hum pyaar main yun pagal ho jayenge

socha na tha 'kayal' shayd

iss pyar main shayd hum kuch soch bhi naa payenge....

bas tere ho jayenge

bas tere ho jayenge

"hummne utar diye dil ke zakhm paanno paar 'kayal'

aur unhone kaha kya khoob likhe ho, kya khoob likhte ho"

Ek ek aur sathi chut gaya
Aisa kya kiya tha maine
ki who mujhe root gaya
ek aur sathi chut gaya

kuch bichade aankhon main aansu bhar jaate hain
sathi kuch milane ka vada kar jaate hain
jaane yeh pal kyu ruk sa gaya
ek aur sathi chut gaya

abb toh tumhara roth jana bhi yaad ata hain
tera har yarana yaad aata hain
yeh kya hain jo mujhse choot gaya
ek aur sathi chut gaya

kuch pal the kitne aanjane pal
abb lagta hain apne the bas woh char pal
abb woh pal bhi jaise chut gaya
ek aur sathi chut gaya

jab tum the toh tumhari kami na thi
jab nahi ho toh yaad aate ho
yeh kaun sa thookda tha dil ka jo chitak gaya
ek aur sathi chut gaya

jab kuch na tha toh tum the
abb tum na honge toh kaun hoga
jaise dil hi mera toot gaya
ek aur sathi chut gaya

Har koi jee raha hain apne armaan mujh main
Jaane kiski zindagi jee raha hun main

Aankh main bhi aansu hain apne nahi
Yeh kiske gammon paar roo raha hun main

Mujhe pata hain tum aaogi nahi kabhi
Phir bhi tera intezar kyu kar raha hun main

Mujhe pata hain ki bhram hain
Phir bhi kal main aaj dhundh raha hun main

Mujhe pata hain ‘kayal’
Phoolon ke khilne ke hote hain mausam

Kisi bina muasam ki barish ka
Intezar kar raha hun main

Pata hain ki tum woh nahi
Phir bhi tum main usko dhundh raha hun main

Milna na milna hain kismet ki baat
Ek koshish kar raha hun main

'haal kya bataye abb tumhe hum apna
kuch hum bata na payenge, kuch tum samjh naa paoge'

'Yeh baat azeeb hain paar baat yehi hain zindagi mai
Kuch cheeze na badle toh har cheez badal jaati hai'

‘Kayal’ ko maat batao duniya ki sacchai
Ki woh toh pagal hain

Usse maat batao sacchai jung ki
Ki who khud ghayal hain

Kehte hain shahar main dhamaka hua hain
woh kehta hain tooti kisi behan ki payal hain

Usse nahi dikhte signal paar ghumte bacche
woh kehta hain kisi ki life royal hain

Neta baimaan hain who manta hi nahi
Bad amli main doobi sabki smile hain

Dekho ‘kayal’ aaj bhi khadi main bapu hain zinda
teynaat har mulk ki sarhad par misile hain

Hummne kaha Bahut gandde ho kayal naha dho lo
woh kehta hain 'Dirty' hona hi aaj ka style hain

Chooti chooti baton main basta hain khuda
Jisse pyar karte hain usse jataiye

Har rishte main basta hain khuda
Kabhi kabhi hi sahi thoda sar jhukaiye

Agar jaana hain ghar banae ka elm
Toh kisi panchi ke pass jaiye

Aankh khol ke chaloge toh gir padoge
Iss raah par Aankh band kar hi kadam badhaiye

Woh pyar nahi jo toote
Jo toote-choote usspe aansu maat bahaiye..

har pyar main rista ho zaroori nahi
paar har rishte main pyar zaroor badhaiye

उन्हें क्या कहे जो पत्थर बरसाते हैं हम पर

तो हम मुस्कुराते हैं

वह इकरार -ए -मोहब्बत करते हैं बार- बार

जो नही जानते की इश्क क्या हैं

वह तो ना समझ हैं, कहते हैं बार बार

हम समझते हैं इसलिए मुस्कुराते हैं

उनसे लड़कर, रुठकर, टूटकर , किसी लहर की तरह

हम उनके ही पास चले आते हैं

यह जाने कैसा रिश्ता हैं साहिल से

जिससे हम निभाते हैं

तुझसे दूर जाने के लिए , तुझे भुलाने के लिए

तेरी बाहों में टूट जाते हैं

इजहार होके भी प्यार हो यह ज़रूरी तो नही

प्यार हो तो इजहार यह भी ज़रूरी नही

पर तेरी चाहत हैं ऐसी की

‘कायल’ भी कायल हो खीचे चले आते हैं

व्हो समझ न जाये इस बात को

तो हम मुस्कुँराते हैं

एक राज़ हैं गहरा जिसे हम छुपाते हैं

हम मुस्कुँरते हैं

“रौशनी सूरज से रिश्ता तोड़ दे , सूरज को छोड़ दे ये और बात हैं

मगर अपनी रूह में कैद उसके अक्स को कैसे छोड़ेगी ”

ग़ालिब की कलम से ...
"रगों में दौरते फिरने के हम नहीं कायल
जब आँख से ही न टपका तों फिर लहू क्या है "

"जला है जिस्म जहाँ दिल भी जल गया होगा
कुरेदते हो जो अब राख जुस्त -जू क्या है"

"हुई मुद्दत की ग़ालिब मर गया पर याद आता है,
वो हर एक बात पे कहना, की यूं होता तों क्या होता"

"हमको मालूम हैं जन्नत की हकीकत लेकिन
दिल को खुश रखने मैं ग़ालिब यह ख्याल अच्छा हैं "

"हमको उनसे थी वफ़ा की उम्मीद ,
जो नहीं जानते वफ़ा क्या है "

I owe this to Chetan Bhagat.....
"Last week, an IITian committed suicide. People who commit suicide do it when they feel there's no future. But wait, isn't IIT the one place where a bright and shining future is a foregone conclusion? It just doesn't add up, does it? Why would a young, hardworking, bright student who has the world ahead of him do something like this? But the answer is this-in our constant reverence for the great institution (and I do believe IITs are great), we forget the dark side. And the dark side is that the IITs are afflicted by the quintessential Indian phenomenon of academic pressure, probably the highest in the world.
I can rant about the educational system and how it requires serious fixing, or I can address the immediate-try my best to prevent such suicides. For this column I have chosen the latter, and I do so with a personal story.
News of a suicide always brings back one particular childhood memory. I was 14 years old when I first seriously contemplated suicide. I had done badly in chemistry in the Class X half yearly exam. I was an IIT aspirant, and 68% was nowhere near what an IIT candidate should be getting. I don't know what had made me screw up the exam, but I did know this, I was going to kill myself. The only debate was about method.
Ironically, chemistry offered a way. I had read about copper sulphate, and that it was both cheap and poisonous. Copper sulphate was available at the kirana store. I had it all worked out. My rationale for killing myself was simple-nobody loved me, my chemistry score was awful, I had no future and what difference would it make to the world if I was not there. I bought the copper sulphate for two rupees-probably the cheapest exit strategy in the world.
I didn't do it for two reasons. One, I had a casual chat with the aunty next door about copper sulphate, and my knowledgeable aunty knew about a woman who had died that way. She said it was the most painful death possible, all your veins burst and you suffer for hours. This tale made my insides shudder. Second, on the day I was to do it, I noticed a street dog outside my house being teased by the neighborhood kids as he hunted for scraps of food. Nobody loved him. It would make no difference to the world if the dog wasn't there. And I was pretty sure that its chemistry score would be awful. Yet, the dog wasn't trotting off to the kirana store. He was only interested in figuring out a strategy for his next meal. And when he was full, he merely curled up in a corner with one eye open, clearly content and not giving a damn about the world. If he wasn't planning to die anytime soon what the hell was I ranting about? I threw the copper sulphate in the bin. It was the best two bucks I ever wasted.
So why did I tell you this story? Because sometimes the pressure gets too much; like it did for the IITian who couldn't take it no more. On the day he took that dreadful decision, his family and friends were shattered, and India lost a wonderful, bright child. And as the silly but true copper sulphate story tells you-it could happen to any of us or those around us. So please be on the lookout, if you see a distressed young soul, lend a supportive, non-judgmental ear. When I look back, I thank that aunt and that dog for unwittingly saving my life. If God wanted us to take our own life, he would have provided a power off button. He didn't, so have faith and let his plan for you unfold. Because no matter how tough life gets and how much it hurts, if street dogs don't give up, there is no reason why we, the smart species, should. Makes sense right?"

Aawazon main aawaaz ban gayaa hun main
Kya chaha tha kya ho gaya hun main
Misaal dete , woh ishq tha
Kisi Gumnaam gazal ka sher ho gaya hun main

Kagaaz paar girtaa toh akshar banta
Daag kyu baan gaya hun main
Shayad koi tasveer hain jo adhuri hain
Usme katra baan gaya hun main

Tasveer banai toh chitera
Gazal likhi toh shayar ho gaya hun main
Khiladi, siyasi, mosiqi
Kitne naamon main baat gaya hun main

Kuch kho gaya sa
Kuch bach gaya hun main
Shahher ke purane khandar si
Ek yaad ho gaya hun main

सही-ग़लत मे फासले इतने भी न थे

हम थे तन्हा पर इतने भी न थे

इशारा करके छुपाना तुम्हारी पुरानी आदत हैं

पहचान गए इतने बुद्दू हम भी न थे

मैं डरता हूँ बात बात पर इकरार से

आख़िर पत्थर दिल हम भी न थे

वक्त पत्थर को मिट्टी बना देता हैं

हम तो 'कायल' थे, पत्थर न थे

' इश्क मैं इतने घायल 'कायल' हुए

आंसू दिल पर गिरता तेज़ाब हुए'

प्यार का हुनर आता नही कीताबों से
फीर इस हुनर को सीखे कैसे
मोहब्बत होती हैं सिर्फ़ दिलजले आशीक के पास
इन रोशनियों मैं उसे ढूँढे कैसे
तुम कहती हो दिन-रात मैं रिश्ता हो नही सकता
अब तुम ही बताओ सेहर को भूले कैसे
तुम कहती हो सोचने के लिए वक्त चाहिये
तो मुस्कुँरा दीये हम
अब तुम ही बताओ मोहब्बत मैं समझौता करे कैसे !


"इतना इजहार भी अच्छा नही प्यार का की हर वादा झूठा लगने लगे ..."